Episode Summary
In this episode of The Flywheel Effect, Brent Sonnek-Schmelz and Matt Bernath explore the power of coaching and reflective inquiry. Brent and Matt discuss Marcia Reynolds’ book, Coach the Person, Not the Problem, diving into the art of reflective inquiry and its impact on leadership. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding individual limitations and embracing discomfort for growth.
The hosts delve into practical applications of coaching, emphasizing the need for psychological safety and breaking through mental blocks. Matt shares personal experiences with improv and coaching, revealing strategies for aligning teams and fostering self-awareness. He also highlights the benefits of shifting from offering advice to asking questions.
Ultimately, the episode underscores the significance of defining achievable next steps and creating a supportive environment where team members can thrive. Matt and Brent explore how effective coaching can unlock potential, improve team dynamics, and drive better results by moving individuals out of their comfort zones.
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Key Insights
Defining Achievable Next Steps Is Crucial
All too often, leaders have great conversations with their teams, but fail to see real change happen. This is because the conversation doesn’t lead to action. Ensuring coaching sessions are truly valuable means defining achievable next steps the individual can action. This allows team members to see the work that’s available to them, in the near term, and not to be overwhelmed. More importantly, it’s the manager’s responsibility to facilitate conversations with their team members and allow them to explain what they’ve learned in their own words. When team members or employees use their own words, it’s much easier to see if there’s alignment between the leaders and team members. Lastly, managers should avoid trying to boil the ocean and instead focus on one thing at a time.
Reflective Inquiry Unlocks Potential
Traditional coaching methods often rely on asking questions, but reflective inquiry goes deeper. The key difference is instead of simply asking questions, reflective inquiry focuses on reflecting the client’s words and emotions back to them, which prompts critical self-reflection and allows the individual to come to their own conclusions and overcome barriers. The approach helps the individual come to a place of understanding. It avoids telling them what to do or how to think, and instead allows them to find their own solutions, which are more likely to stick. By mastering this skill, leaders can empower their teams to navigate challenges and achieve greater success.
Embrace Discomfort for Growth
Personal and professional growth rarely happens within one’s comfort zone. Many people walk through life in a fog of thoughts, but leaders can create real progress and breakthroughs by helping their team members lean into uncomfortable situations. Whether it’s the member of a CEO peer group recognizing that they need the pressure of being held accountable to succeed, or it’s getting better at managing a team member who is underperforming, it all starts by accepting the initial discomfort and leaning into it.
Episode Highlights
The Generational Divide in Education
Timestamp: [00:23:00]
Brent and Matt discuss the differences in student engagement across different generations. Brent shares his experience teaching college classes before and after the COVID-19 pandemic, observing a significant decline in students’ willingness to participate in class. He explains that while pre-COVID students were actively engaged and raised their hands, post-COVID students were much more hesitant, making it difficult to get them to speak up or participate in any way. Brent attributes this change to the students’ experiences being buried for two years during their formative years.
“I think just being buried for two years in your formative [years] either high school or early college, really hurt the development of kids. And I saw firsthand and these are just the same university, same classes, but completely different impact as far as willingness to get up and speak or engage.”
The Power Dynamic in Management
Timestamp: [00:20:00]
Brent and Matt touch on how fear is involved in the power dynamic in management and discuss how managers can handle the dynamic. They acknowledge that some level of fear or hesitancy is inherent in the manager-employee relationship. If you want to unlock your team’s potential, you have to unlock a way for your team members to reach their full potential, for the benefit of the business. In many cases, they’re unwilling to unlock their own potential, because they’re insecure, embarrassed, or shy.
“You want to manage that power dynamic as a boss or manager in such a way that allows someone to fulfill themselves for the betterment of the business, if you’re a good one. Sometimes you just want a yes man because you’re a bad one, but that’s a different story, right?”
The Importance of Emotional Awareness in Coaching
Timestamp: [00:09:00]
Matt and Brent discuss the key elements of reflective inquiry, noting that it’s about helping individuals come to their own conclusions. Brent mentions that while he summarizes what people say, he typically does not focus on the emotions. This changes once Brent reads the book and he shares a belief that it is good to focus on the emotions that clients have as they are speaking.
“The way she defines coaching is not someone who is an expert in anything, it’s one who, through this process of reflective inquiry allows the client, and everyone […] to find that outcome, that resolution, that leads to success.”
The Value of Seeking External Perspectives
Timestamp: [00:42:00]
Matt and Brent discuss a time where Matt had an epiphany and a realization that he needs to change his actions. Matt shares a story about a partner who created an “aha moment” for him. Matt acknowledges that he operates at a different frequency than most, and that his expectations for people should perform probably are out of alignment from reality. Brent agrees that Matt unlocked the fact that the change will make Matt a better leader when he recognizes his own limitations.
“If you surround yourself with amazing people, you level up. It’s like, man, he unlocked that for me, in that moment. And he’s right.”
